I woke up this morning and got quite a shock!
My knees had turned hairy! They'd started to knock!
I looked in the mirror and thought it was weird,
As my shoulders were broad and I'd sprouted a beard!
Oh where is my lippy? Where are my pearls?
Why am I thinking of fast cars and girls?
I'm burping and belching! My feet are all smelly -
and what am I doing watching football on telly?
The smell of my feet makes me stagger and swoon -
I can't stand the smell of this "manly perfume"!
It follows me around wherever I go,
So I'm off to find a peg for my nose!
I'm off for a pint tonight with the lads,
But why can't I squeeze into my best shoulder pads?
And what will they say when I queue for the loo?
"Oi mate! Can't you read? It's the GENTS for you!"
I went to the Gent's with my "pistol" in hand,
Ready to squirt it all over the land!
I'll squirt it at anyone who challenges me,
For I'm getting quite used to my manhood, you see... ;-)
Er... I AM a woman! Honest!
ReplyDeleteSeriously though, sometimes when I write, I like to step out of my comfort zone, whether it's trying new forms of poetry, or even writing about things I shouldn't even know about!
I had a very distinct picture in mind for this poem of going to bed one night as my usual womanly self - only to wake up the next morning and find that I'd changed into a man!!!! :-O
And not a chocolate in sight! Tch! ;)
DeleteGxx
Nope - it's beans all the way for me from now on. :-D
ReplyDelete(PS: It's nice to see you here.)